Just Buy Some Bagels
It’s an all too familiar plot device in storytelling, maybe one many of us have encountered in real life: one person does someone a favor and now they believe the other person owes them something in return. Sometimes it’s used for comic relief, sometimes as a means to an end, and sometimes the intentions may be more nefarious. This quid pro quo strategy might be effective in helping someone achieve their goals, but it’s not the way we should treat our loved ones, and it’s not how Christians are called to behave.
In his letter to the Christians in Rome, Paul writes, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9, CSB).
I’ll just be focusing on that first sentence for now. “Let love be without hypocrisy.” The New American Standard Bible adds a little more weight to this sentencing, telling us that “Love must be free of hypocrisy.” It’s worth nothing first that those italics are original to that translation. The translators who worked on the NASB felt the original Greek wording called for extra emphasis in English. Second, in this version the phrase does not seem like a suggestion but a demand. Imagine a couple of friends are out trying to find a place to eat.
Ronald: “Hey, let’s go to McDonald’s.”
Dave: “No, we must go to Wendy’s.”
One of those guys seems serious, and they’re probably minutes away from having a Frosty for dessert. This seems to be the weight that Paul is using when he talks about how we should show love.
So, let’s talk about love. In Greek there are different words used for different expressions of love, from romantic love to love shared among friends to the kind of love we’re looking at today. The word Paul used in this sentence:
ἀγάπη – agapē (ag-ah’-pay)
I always think of agapē love as the kind of love parents have for their children. It’s not earned by anything the child has done or will do in the future. As a parent I can also say that I have loved my children since the moment I first learned they were coming, just because they exist, and I can’t imagine many things my kids can do to make me love them any less. I simply love them, wish them well, and do everything I can to provide for their wellbeing.
This kind of love really goes beyond emotion. Sometimes my kids may do things that really upset me. That may change how I feel, but it shouldn’t change how I love them. In my marriage, my wife and I may not always feel butterflies or warm fuzzy feelings when we see each other. Sometimes we may not be getting along at all, but that doesn’t change the way we love each other.
When Paul says love (agapē) must be without hypocrisy, he means that as we seek to show love to those around us, we need to be mindful of our motivations. We’re not talking about pretending to be IN love with someone, but showing love, looking out for a neighbor’s wellbeing, for the right reasons.
Love must be free of hypocrisy. (Romans 12:9a, NASB)
When we show love we shouldn’t be putting on a show. If I stop to help someone on the side of the road it should be out of a genuine desire to help them, not so that I can show everyone on social media what a great guy I am. If buy bagels for everyone it work, it should just be to do something kind for them, not so that they all “owe me one.”
Paul explains why this is important in his first letter to the church in Corinth:
If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, CSB)
If rather than showing love with sincerity we do what we do for show, everything we say and do is just pointless noise with the potential to do more harm than good. So, do good, but do good for the sake of doing good or, better yet, do good for God.
Love must be sincere. (Romans 12:9a, NIV)